Dear Friend,
First and foremost, we hope you, your friends, family and loved ones are physically safe. Whether you live in Los Angeles or not, it is undeniable that we are all feeling the effects of the SoCal wildfires. Thank you to everyone who has reached out. We are so incredibly grateful for your care and concern. Although we lived in the Palisades for 11 years, and yes, all three of our former homes are now gone, we are no longer residents or homeowners in Malibu or the Palisades. We have a strange combination of relief and deep grief. We are here to help others. For those who have been directly impacted by this tragedy, we hope to be a place of refuge for you in the coming days, weeks and months.
I have proudly served on the Women's Council of Children's Burn Foundation since 2010. Children’s Burn Foundation is here for you and your family during these unprecedented and challenging times, whether a child has suffered severe burns or is experiencing difficulties coping with the current Los Angeles fires. To help children cope with the current fires and for those who may have lost their home, Children’s Burn Foundation put together some tips to help parents talk with children about their experiences.
1. Honest Conversation:
• Be direct: Explain what happened in simple terms, acknowledging the loss of their home
while assuring them they are safe now. Help children refocus what “home” is: it may be family, community, friends, and these relationships will be maintained, even with the loss of the physical spaces or buildings.
• Age-appropriate details: Tailor the information to their understanding level, avoiding unnecessary graphic details.
• Answer questions openly: Let them ask questions and answer honestly, even if they seem difficult.
• Remind children you are there to help: and that your job is to keep them safe and that you have plans in place in case of emergencies.
2. Acknowledge Emotions: The LA Fire Disaster can cause many emotions and reminders from the past. These reminders can be from a previous trauma which can cause you to feel anxious, fearful and highly vigilant. Even when you may not be in direct danger of the fires, your previous trauma triggers these emotions, and you may feel unsettled.
It is important to allow your child to express what they feel. Adults also need to share and not hide their feelings. This allows your child to learn these are normal reactions for everyone.
• Validate their feelings: Let them know it's normal to feel scared, sad, angry, or confused.
• Active listening: Pay close attention to what they say and show empathy.
• Offer comfort: Provide hugs, cuddles, and reassuring words.
3. Limit News Exposure:
• Control media intake: Minimize exposure to graphic news coverage about the fires.
• Monitor social media: Be mindful of what they see on social media.
• Distract when needed: Engage in calming activities like reading or playing games.
4. Create New Routines:
• Establish structure: maintain regular bedtime, mealtimes, and daily schedules as much as possible.• Positive rituals: Incorporate new calming rituals like meditation, deep breathing exercises, or journaling.
• Family time: Dedicate time for shared activities to foster a sense of security.
• Maintain and strengthen a child’s friendships and peer support: zoom and in-person play dates can help keep routines.
5. Involve children in preparations:
• Even if you are not under evacuation orders, let your children pack a to-go bag. This will help them feel some sense of control. Ask younger kids to pack a favorite toy or book.
• Empower kids with action: even small actions can give children a sense of control and contribution.
• Practice emergency preparedness at home including multiple escape routes, a meeting place outside the house, assign small but meaningful roles such as bringing the family’s emergency kit or their to go bag.
6. Seek Support from Community and Professionals:
• Reach out to school counselors: Utilize school resources to access support for your child.
• Community support groups: Connect with other families impacted by the fires for shared understanding and support.
• Child therapist: Consider professional therapy if your child exhibits significant distress or difficulty coping.
• Contact Children’s Burn Foundation: if your child is a burn survivor and needs additional help as part of a group or individually, email info@childburn.org or call 818-907-2822.
Key Points to Remember:
• Be patient: Coping with a major loss takes time.
• Model resilience: Show your child how you are managing your own emotions and adapting to the situation.
• Focus on safety: Reassure them that they are safe and steps are being taken to protect them.
• Celebrate small wins: Acknowledge and celebrate positive moments and progress.
I share with you my meditation this morning: Breathwork for Healing Transformation. May we all share resources of healing and positivity. The most important thing we can do is be there for one another in the true spirit of Namaste - the light in me reflects the light in you. With the support of the community, we will prevail.
A big virtual hug THANK YOU to the incredible first responders!
